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I couldn't believe there wasn't a group for House!! I don't know if many of you watch this show, but this group is for those who do!


"House" Recap: Episode 24, "Human Error"

Posted By Entertainment on May 30, 2007 at 11:33AM

When I first saw the preview for the "House" season finale, I was most excited about the medical case. But in the end, I ended up being more intrigued by the drama surrounding House's staff. Between what happened this week and the word that "House" will look different in the fall, I really wonder what the writers have in store for us next season.

More about that in a second. First, let's meet the patient of the week: a Cuban refugee who's been traveling with her husband in an attempt to see House for her set of odd symptoms. I had no idea House's powers were internationally recognized, but it makes for a good story, so

Meanwhile, Wilson is still trying to convince House to find a way to keep Foreman. He says he realizes House isn't going to stop being a jerk — he drives an old car and plays an older guitar, so change isn't really his thing — but he just has to make Foreman believe he's not completely heartless. One way House chooses to prove this is by ignoring his patient. Another is by agreeing with everything Foreman says, which causes Chase to snap that Foreman really doesn’t need pats on the back; House responds by telling Chase he’s fired.

This move, of course, draws the ire of pretty much everyone else at PPH. Wilson: "I told you to show Foreman you had a heart. How does that translate into you being a bastard?" House refuses to rehire Chase, so as revenge, Foreman gives the patient's husband House's home number and tells him to just keep calling. House finally bursts into the hospital just as Cameron and Foreman are doing a procedure, but before he can properly berate them for giving out his number, the woman’s pulse drops. She should be dead — but she’s still talking.

The most plausible explanation is human error, but House won’t accept it. Foreman and Cameron do CPR for hours while he searches for explanations. Eventually he agrees to put the woman on a bypass machine, but they can't get her heart to start. Her husband, meanwhile, confronts House, asking why House is ignoring his wife and letting the team do all the work. House says that's his process.

Cameron, meanwhile, gives Foreman a framed copy of the medical journal that published that article he stole from her, and they hug goodbye. She then meets Chase at a bar, and he says that while getting the job with House was the best thing that ever happened to him, losing it will be OK. He asks her to stay for a drink, but she declines.

House insists he can still figure out what's wrong with the woman, but Cuddy says it's time to let this one go. House finds the husband in the hospital chapel and tells him his wife is dead — and yet, when House turns off the machines that are supposedly keeping her alive, her heart starts beating again. They think it’s a miracle, but House doesn’t want God taking credit, so he does another test and discovers that the woman has a treatable heart defect.

Cameron, meanwhile, shows up on Chase's doorstep. "It's Tuesday," she says, even though it's apparently Monday in "House"-land. They kiss, finally. Back at the hospital, House tells Foreman he's an important part of the team; Foreman replies that he’d rather save lives than solve cases. House yells that Foreman only cares about his ego, and with that, Foreman’s gone.

Two down, one to go: Cameron submits her letter of resignation, saying she's gotten all she can from the job. She'll miss House, she says, but he'll be fine without her. And that appears to be true, as House goes home and opens a big box that contains a new guitar. Out with the old, in with the new? I can't imagine — for the sake of the show's fan base, if nothing else — that the whole team will be gone next year. But could one or two of them leave? Could the show go on without them? Let me know what you think.

TV Tonight: The "House" Season Finale

Posted By Entertainment on May 29, 2007 at 7:27AM

"House" has been pushed and shoved around the schedule all season in favor of "American Idol" and Fox's other reality shows, and tonight's season finale is no exception. The episode got bumped out of its prime sweeps-week slot so Fox could launch "On the Lot" after the "Idol" finale, which is a shame, because tonight's episode looks fantastic. It has one of the season's craziest medical cases — a woman who's still alive and talking even though she doesn't have a pulse — along with the resolution to Foreman's apparently imminent departure. To watch a clip from the episode,

Photo courtesy of Fox

"House" Recap: Episode 23, "The Jerk"

Posted By Entertainment on May 16, 2007 at 12:30PM

Man, who wasn't a jerk on "House" last night? At least the title wasn't meant just for House, as he had to take on a whiny, angry teenage patient who definitely gave House a run for his money. (If "personality disorder" is really a symptom, couldn't House have been diagnosed with every disease in the book by now?) Meanwhile, Foreman still insists he's leaving, but someone sabotages his chances by canceling a job interview. But who? Well, for that and the rest of the story,

The patient this week is Nate, a chess prodigy who wins his match and then beats up his opponent. Hmm, so I guess rage is a symptom. At the hospital, Nate tells Chase to stop asking him stupid questions and asks if he’s a med student, leading Chase to gripe that he hates Nate; House, of course, loves him. A chip off the ol' block there, eh? Nate's mom is thrilled to learn that her son's irritability might be a symptom of a disease; she just thought she was a bad mother.

Meanwhile, House gets all fake-weepy during the diagnostic sessions, suggesting this could be the last time (sob) that Foreman mistakenly suggests the wrong disease. But maybe not — turns out, his job interview has been mysteriously canceled. Of course, Foreman blames House, who denies everything (and suggests he was just getting punk'd by Ashton Kutcher). Cuddy also denies she had anything to do with it.

House attempts to treat the kid's headaches with magic mushrooms, and when he reaches his happy high, he exposes himself to Cameron. She realizes his naughty bits are undersized, and the doctors focus in on Nate’s pituitary gland. But his liver starts shutting down, so House suggests giving him the "hamburger test" — feeding him a lot of meat and seeing what happens. Nate, of course, won't deign to eat the hospital's icky burgers. Later, they order him to fast instead, and he threatens his mom and a nurse to feed him before peeing on the floor — but when the puddle turns red, the doctors realize Nate's kidneys are shot too.

Meanwhile, Cuddy makes Foreman an offer: She'll double his salary and let him head up his own diagnostic team. Wow, is Foreman really worth that? Foreman says no deal; someone there canceled his job interview, and that means he can't trust any of them. Cuddy then accuses Wilson of canceling the interview; he denies it and accuses Cameron, who accuses Chase, who reminds Cameron that it's Tuesday and he likes her.

House challenges Nate to a game of chess, and they match move for move and insult for insult ("it's a real thin line between tortured genius and awkward kid who can't get girls because he's creepy") until Nate has a seizure. House decides that Nate isn't a jerk because he's sick — he's just a jerk who happens to be sick. They cross personality disorder off the symptoms list and test him for another disease. Foreman doesn't find any signs of it, and when House asks him to test again, Foreman says he thinks the kid just has an infection. But he backs down, and House points out that he could have trusted his instincts, but he still trusts House’s judgment more than his own. Meanwhile, Chase says he knows House sabotaged Foreman's interview, and if he wants Foreman to stay, he should just talk to him.

But before he can do that, House has his aha! moment. He realizes that Nate grips chess pieces oddly because he can't bend his fingers; there's stuff in his blood building up between his bones. It's treatable, House says; he then slashes Nate's wrist with a scalpel, which seemed a little harsh.

But not as harsh as what House does to Foreman: He spots Foreman running the test House previously ordered (the one that's now unnecessary), and instead of telling him to stop, he says it looks like Foreman's going to be pulling an all-nighter. Was House trying to teach him something there — or just being, well, a jerk?

We've got a week off now before the season finale, so it's time to speculate: Will Foreman really go? My DVR cut off before the preview of the finale (if there was one), so if you saw it, tell me what you think will happen!

Photos courtesy of Fox

"House" Recap: Episode 22, "Resignation"

Posted By Entertainment on May 9, 2007 at 11:20AM

This week's "House" largely followed the fallout from Foreman's sudden resignation, set against the background of a medical case that seemed remarkably similar to the one two weeks ago that led Foreman to kill his patient. This week's patient is Addie, a college sophomore who starts coughing up blood during her martial arts class. House is convinced she has an infection, but the others think it could be something autoimmune. When will they ever learn? Meanwhile, Foreman makes his resignation official — and then gets honest about his feelings about the rest of the staff. For the rundown,

Chase asks Foreman why he's leaving, and Foreman refuses to tell, on the grounds that he’s never liked Chase. Chase decides that Foreman must be ashamed of the reason, so he asks House for the scoop. "He wants to breed llamas," House says, and Chase figures that House is ashamed too. Meanwhile, House tells Wilson the real reason: Foreman didn't want to end up like House. House then goes down to the clinic to treat a guy whose poo floats. Seriously, that's the plotline they came up with to introduce Piper Perabo as Honey, a nutritionist/vegan who finds out her boyfriend is "cheating" on her by eating the occasional hamburger.

Addie, meanwhile, is still a mystery; she keeps getting mostly better, then suddenly having another problem. The doctors wonder why her body would fight half a fight and then give up. House: "Maybe its name is Foreman." They try another test, this one involving sticking a needle in her eye, and I literally screamed and turned away, so I'm not really sure what happened, other than that it didn't help them cure Addie. While Foreman and Cameron give Addie an MRI, Foreman admits that he's leaving so he doesn't turn into House. Cameron tries putting her optimistic spin on things, but Foreman tells Cameron she's weak. There's no time to reflect on that, however, because Addie's head has exploded. Ew.

House still insists that Addie has an infection, but Chase wants to give her steroids instead. That sounds like the choice Foreman made when he killed his patient, huh? House expects Addie to have a heart attack when Chase gives her the steroids, but she doesn’t; later, though Addie's kidneys fail and Cameron creepily sneaks into House's bedroom to tell him they were wrong.

Meanwhile, House doses Wilson's coffee with amphetamines in an attempt to figure out why he's been yawning. A totally high Wilson shows up all jittery for a breast exam, winks at his patient, generally embarrasses himself, discovers his heart rate is 185, and excuses himself to go murder House. Even while on the uppers, though, Wilson's still yawning, and House says he knows Wilson is on anti-depressants; the yawning is a symptom. House asks why Wilson, "Mr. Well-Adjusted," kept this a secret; Wilson says it's personal. House says he wants antidepressants, too, but first he’d have to admit he was depressed.

Back at the hospital, House is gleeful about his diagnosis; Cameron and Foreman, though, point out that Addie is going to die because the steroid treatment won't let her fight the infection. Foreman asks House if he even knows Addie's name (of course, he doesn't); House posits that Foreman is trying to make House a kinder, gentler person. "You're about to tell a girl she's dying, and you think it's about you," Foreman says, disgusted.

House tells Addie she's dying; he starts to explain why, but she doesn't care. She realizes he seems a little too happy, and House glimpses his own reflection and realizes she's right. He yells at Wilson for dosing his coffee with antidepressants. Man, I love these two drugging each other. Wilson said they obviously worked if House is smiling, and somehow that gives House the ridiculous epiphany that Addie tried to kill herself by swallowing kitchen cleanser wrapped in a gel cap, burning a hole in her stomach and allowing bacteria to swarm through her body. She's not dying after all.

In the end, House meets Honey at some bar. Because she's the stupidest person ever, she thought their meeting was a job interview, but House wastes no time admitting it's a date. He rattles off a list of flaws — he's just been dosed with antidepressants, he eats meat, he likes drugs — and Honey smiles and says, "You don't seem depressed." Yeesh, I really hope those two don't become a couple.

Photos courtesy of Fox

TV Tonight: "House"

Posted By Entertainment on May 8, 2007 at 5:58AM

I know the real news on this week's "House" should be about Foreman, who announced his resignation last week. But I'm much more excited about House's story — and what it might mean for his romantic life. Tonight's episode guest-stars Piper Perabo as a nutritionist and girlfriend of one of House's patients. So what? Well, there was a rumor a while back that Perabo could return for more episodes, possibly as a new love interest for House. Granted, the clip I've seen from the episode doesn't show any real spark between them — but that could be because they're discussing her boyfriend's poo. Do you think it's about time House got some action? To watch the scene in which House and Perabo's character meet,

Photo courtesy of Fox

"House" Recap: Episode 21, "Family"

Posted By Entertainment on May 2, 2007 at 11:37AM

If last week's episode of "House" was about failure, then this week's was about redemption — or at least an attempt at it. Foreman is still reeling from the death he caused, so he's gun-shy on the team's next case: a boy who gets a mysterious infection just before he's supposed to give bone marrow to his older brother. House decides that the infection is like a needle in a haystack, so they need to "grow more needles" — the old "make him sicker before we can make him well" trick.

Foreman isn't sold, and he's not the only one with reservations. Wilson points out that he treats his patients for months and years, and he needs Matty and Nick's parents to feel like they're doing the right thing. House, of course, has different ideas about medicine, so to see where it goes from there,

Foreman and Chase go out to the family's house to look for clues, and Chase says (from experience) that it's not easy to get over the death of a patient. Foreman says Chase screwed up because he was distracted by his father's death, but Foreman made a calculated decision that killed someone. "You acted like a human being," he says. "I acted like House."

Speaking of acting like House, we get to meet Hector Does Go Rug, a yippy little terrier who's seen better days. He chews up House's shoes and even gnaws off the bottom of his cane, causing House to take a tumble in the hospital's hallway ("I just tripped over Wilson's self-righteousness.") He ends up with a hot new replacement: a black cane with flames on the bottom. Chase, meanwhile, informs Cameron that it's Tuesday, aka the day he says he likes her and wants them to be together. "You're really going to do this every Tuesday?" Cameron grumbles. My thoughts exactly, Cam.

Meanwhile, the doctors discover an infection in Matty's heart. House and Wilson want to take it out surgically, but Foreman says they should give him antibiotics and wait. House tells Cuddy that he thinks Foreman has "the yips" — he's like a great athlete who lost confidence and can't recover — so House is giving him four days to get himself together before he's fired.

Wilson takes a hard line with Matty's parents, saying that even though the surgery would change Matty's life, it could save both of their boys. He feels guilty for being a bully, but it doesn't matter, because the mass in Matty's heart isn't infectious. Cameron suggests the issue is autoimmune, but Foreman clearly gets a chill even hearing the word "autoimmune" and goes to check the bone marrow registry for another donor. Behind House's back, he tells the parents that he found a match that, while not ideal, should work. Wilson and House flip when they find out and explain the risks to the parents, but they insist on the transplant. House gets mad at Wilson for not being more aggressive and says if the kid dies, it will be because Foreman was wrong and Wilson was a coward.

Nick's body rejects the transplant while Matty gets sicker, and House has an epiphany that they could give Nick the infection Matty has; in his sick body, it will flourish, and they'll be able to diagnose it. House tells the family that they're either leaving with one dead son or two, but the parents refuse to experiment on Nick. House convinces Nick to talk his parents into letting him be a petri dish for his brother, but before they go through with it, Foreman — who's just learned from Wilson that House called him timid — figures out that Matty's infection was caused by playing in contaminated dirt.

Foreman gives Matty drugs to clear up the infection, then explains that Nick was willing to risk his life to save Matty — so will Matty do the same? He nods apprehensively, and Foreman draws bone marrow from Matty, without sedation, while Matty screams and screams. It's incredibly hard to watch, but it ends up working; both Matty and Nick survive.

Meanwhile, Wilson tells House that he doesn't have to keep the dog. House lets Hector go, but first we see that he now has a limp, or at least has learned to fake it for vicodin. As for House's other wayward puppy, Foreman tells House that he hated listening to Matty scream and realizing he didn't care. Echoing their conversation at the end of last week, Foreman says House will save more people than Foreman will — but Foreman will settle for killing fewer: "Consider this my two weeks' notice."

Photos courtesy of Fox

"House" Recap: Episode 20, "House Training"

Posted By Entertainment on Apr 25, 2007 at 11:18AM

I've never been a person who watched House for the supporting players, so this week's Foreman-centric episode was interesting for me. The medical story was an emotional rollercoaster that ended up giving a lot of insight into his character, and I'm curious to see how the outcome affects him going forward.

The patient this week is a woman who collapses while gambling. Foreman hears her list of jobs — pet store, then unemployment, then selling subscriptions door-to-door, then unemployment — and judges her as a drug-using con artist like the ones he knew back when he was a bad boy. The point about Foreman turning his life around is driven home further when his parents show up; his mom is losing her memory, and Foreman hasn't visited in eight years, so his dad has decided they should come to him.

Meanwhile, Wilson's second ex-wife, Bonnie, arrives on the scene, trying to convince Wilson to take custody of their dog, Hector. To see what happens from there,

House tells Wilson that he asked Cuddy to a play, but she begged off, and that must mean that Cuddy wasn't interested in the play last time — just in Wilson. "You cannot see her socially," House says, and Wilson says he'll take that under advisement as soon as he's done taking her to an art exhibit. House tells Cuddy he knows she's blowing him off for Wilson, and she responds by wondering why her social life is suddenly so hot. "You think you saw somebody else picking up your toy from the sandbox," she says, "and suddenly you want it." She tells him they're going to a gallery, not getting married, and House says Wilson always marries them in the end.

House gets Bonnie, a real estate agent, to take him to look at condos, all the while trying to figure out what it was like to date Wilson. She says they went out as friends first, to see plays or go to a museum (heh), and the attention was addictive, so it was a letdown when he became unavailable. We also learn that sex with Wilson is awesome, which, just, ew. Meanwhile, Wilson and Cuddy end up at an art exhibit with lots of bondage imagery.

House takes what Bonnie said and twists it, telling Wilson that he's bad in bed and if he wants to cut things off with Cuddy, he should sleep with her now. Bonnie then (finally) figures out that House doesn't want a condo and tells him that he was one of the biggest problems in her marriage to Wilson. When their dog was a puppy, she says, he always peed on the carpet, and she named him Hector because Hector Does Go Rug is an anagram for Doctor Greg House. Yeah, that's totally insane.

Meanwhile, Foreman becomes convinced that the woman has cancer and needs full-body radiation. She gets mad at Foreman for making assumptions about her life, and when House later asks her why she's so angry, she says Foreman thinks he's better than he is. And that's a statement that will come back to haunt Foreman, because the doctors realize that the woman has some kind of infection, and because the radiation shut down her immune system, she will die within the day.

I loved watching Foreman and House deal with their failure so differently: Foreman punches a wall; House wants to do medicine. But Foreman asks House to spare the woman the pain of more tests and goes to wait with her while she dies. He tells her she was right about him: He did put distance between them, but it was only because he knew there wasn't any.

Chase invites Foreman to get drunk, and when he begs off Chase suggests that Foreman pray. House, meanwhile, realizes they missed a scratch on the woman's back that allowed in the infection that killed her. House tells Foreman that for most doctors, this would be a once-in-a-lifetime mistake, but they're not like most doctors. In their brand of medicine, they'll kill a lot of people — but they'll also save many who would die in anyone else's hands.

Wilson invites House out to dinner, and House says he can't — he has a dog waiting. Foreman, meanwhile, goes to his parents' hotel room and confesses to his mom that he hurt someone. She comforts him until Foreman asks if she knows who he is. She doesn't; when he says his name, she says she has a little boy named Eric, too. Sigh. It's been a while since we've had a sad storyline on House, but they do tragic well.

Photos courtesy of Fox

Wear House's Snarky Comebacks — For a Good Cause

Posted By Entertainment on Apr 24, 2007 at 4:58PM

Who knew Dr. House's gruff, sarcastic sayings could actually help someone? T-shirts printed with the words "Everybody lies" — which really sums up Doc Cranky's whole philosophy of life — are on sale now to benefit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

According to TV Guide, the idea came about when the producers made shirts bearing House-isms as gifts for the crew. The shirts were such a hit that the producers realized they could sell them — and make money for a good cause in the process. One autographed shirt, along with signed copies of the "House" DVD sets and a signed script, will be auctioned off between May 1 and May 8, with all proceeds going to NAMI.

Unfortunately, there's no picture of Hugh Laurie modeling one of the tees. Maybe I'll just have to Photoshop my own ...


"House" Recap: Episode 19, "Act Your Age"

Posted By Entertainment on Apr 18, 2007 at 12:03PM

As much as I liked seeing Chase and Cameron together, I've been looking forward to the inevitable bickering once they broke up, and we got lots of that on this week's "House." We also got our little mystery girl, and let's just say that one of your predictions of what would be at the end of her dramatic "I ... want ..." line was almost dead-on. Rock on, ALSW!

We start out at a daycare, where the little boy who I'm almost positive plays Sam on "October Road" gets a gross bloody nose. But the actual sick one is his sister, who collapses suddenly. House sets his team on the case, but Cameron and Chase can't stop fighting, because there's trouble in casual-sex paradise. To hear where it goes from there,

The girl has the health problems of someone 10 times her age: heart disease, arthritis, stroke. Meanwhile, her little brother flirts with Cameron, and she flirts back. Hey, Cameron: You broke up with Chase, and he's not going to be jealous of an 8-year-old. The two of them check out the girl's house, and their sniping gets cut short when they discover a bloody T-shirt behind the vent in the girl's bedroom. House, meanwhile, asks Wilson if he's interested in going to see some play. "Sure," says Wilson, "I'll pick you up." House says he's not going: "Dudes only go to plays when they're dragged by women they're hoping to see naked."

Chase and Cameron issue their verdict: The girl is being abused. The father insists otherwise, but a vaginal exam turns up tiny cuts. Cuddy yells at House for not calling social services, but House is more concerned that Cuddy was out late and bounds into the cafeteria to confront Wilson. Wilson: "I slept with her." House: "...seriously?" Wilson: "No." Then Foreman interrupts with the news that they've tested the blood on the T-shirt, and it shows that the girl's hit puberty — at age 6. Her hormones are totally out of whack. Also, she ... wants ... juice!

Speaking of hormones, Wilson says Cuddy wants to see him naked, because she's sent him flowers. Wilson and House bicker about whether the Xs on the card are hugs or kisses, and Wilson ducks away as soon as he spots Cuddy. She asks House why Wilson's acting weird, and House says it's because he sent Wilson flowers. Heh. The little brother, meanwhile, grabs Cameron's ass while informing her that Chase seems like a tool. Cameron later apologizes — sort of — to Chase, but when the boy spots them together, he attacks, biting Chase's arm. House realizes that whatever's messing with the girl's hormones is affecting the brother, too.

Cameron wants to remove the girl's pituitary gland, but House says no. Cameron tries pulling the dead-husband card to get her way, and House totally calls her on it. He tells the father that maybe something at the day care is making the kids sick, and dad responds that the other kids are fine. How does he know? Why, because he's sleeping with the day care instructor!

House shows up at the day care center and spots the instructor's recently waxed lip, which puts it all into place: Dad has been slathering himself with testosterone cream in an attempt to keep up with the day care instructor, who's half his age. Now he's secreting it through his skin, giving his kids huge doses every time he hugs them and making his girlfriend grow a mustache.

With that solved, House turns his attention to Wilson, who says he's going to march into Cuddy's office and kiss her. But he comes back a second later, saying he can't believe House would let him do that. House cops to setting up the flower thing but says Wilson does want to kiss Cuddy. "You're right," Wilson says. House: "... seriously?" Wilson: "No." Chase, meanwhile, gives Cameron flowers, but she says she doesn't want a relationship.

Cuddy tells House she can't believe this guy cared so much about getting laid that he nearly killed his children. It just shouldn't be that hard to find someone, she says. Well, House says, he's got these tickets to a play ...

Photos courtesy of Fox

"House" Recap: Episode 18, "Airborne"

Posted By Entertainment on Apr 11, 2007 at 11:35AM

Well, it wasn't snakes. Might as well get that out of the way.

This week's "House" gave us two different cases: one in the air and one on the ground. I didn't see the connection between the two, but in the end, we got juicy medical footage, some developments in the Chase-Cameron department, and more time for House and Cuddy to bond. For all the details,

First, on the ground, we meet a kindly older woman who orders a prostitute but passes out before she can pay for her "Around the World" package. Wilson takes the case (really? I know House has to work the ER sometimes, but why Wilson?) and starts the usual (mis)diagnosis process. The woman reveals that she's been on something of a bender since turning 58, traveling to Caracas to snort cocaine, get a bad tattoo, and have sex with random men.

Meanwhile, House and Cuddy board their plane, while Cuddy complains that they flew all the way to Singapore so House could give a three-minute speech and rack up $500 in food and "video service" expenses at the hotel. Luckily, House has arranged to bump Cuddy out of first class, saving $500. Not so luckily, the man next to House pukes all over his meal. When the flight attendant asks for a doctor, House volunteers Cuddy, who discovers the man has symptoms of meningitis. She says they have to turn around, but House says it's nothing — until the young woman in front of House starts puking and reveals a strange rash on her back.

Cameron and Chase, meanwhile, go to the woman's house to check for things that could have made her sick, and Cameron insists they have sex on the woman's bed while her freaky cat looks on. Foreman later accuses them of agreeing with each other all the time just because the sex is good.

House assembles a faux team from random people on the plane, the best of which is the Cameron stand-in, who's told to be morally outraged at everything House says. If he’d told her to want to sleep with him, she really would have nailed it. House deduces that the problem must be in the seafood served on the plane, since both sick people ate it. Cuddy insists that meningitis makes more sense, and eventually she too vomits and reveals a rash on her back.

Back on the ground, Wilson decides the woman has breast cancer and asks the prostitute (whom he doesn't realize is a prostitute yet) to stay with her; apparently this is "prostitutes are people, too" episode. But in the middle of a mammogram, the woman goes blind and ultimately ends up in a coma. Wilson, meanwhile, finally figures out what's up and tells the prostitute she should go, but she leaves her phone number behind.

House and the doctors back home end up performing near-simultaneous spinal taps, and House announces to the plane at large that they have a confirmed case of bacterial meningitis ... but wait, just kidding, it's actual mass hysteria and they're making themselves sick. That includes Cuddy, who's a little ashamed, though they still have to figure out what's wrong with the first guy. House settles on the idea that he's a drug mule who swallowed a condom of cocaine that burst.

Back on the ground, Chase remembers that the woman's cat's food dish was full. He returns to find the cat dead, then discovers that the house next door had been fumigated and some of the toxins had seeped into the woman's home. He reports his finding just in time to stop the other doctors from drilling into the woman's brain.

Just before House is about to do surgery, he realizes that when he pushes on the guy's joints, his symptoms go away. He finds a scuba diving receipt in the guy's wallet and figures out he has the bends; he tells the flight attendant that the pilot should drop in elevation "until we can club baby seals out the window." Once the plane lands, House tells Cuddy she owes him for saving her life; she reminds him she wasn't actually sick.

Wilson calls the prostitute, tells her the woman is going to be fine, and basically asks her out. Chase, meanwhile, tells Cameron he wants more from their relationship. She says it's just sex, no feelings, and now it's over. Chase can only pout back.

Photos courtesy of Fox